New Page---New Day

I just learned that both knitting and chocolate are good for your memory. What more could I ask for. I can do both. This memory business isn't so hard. My new focus is memory loss. I am starting on my journey. When I went to my first support meeting for caretakers, I was welcomed by a woman who said that I was starting on a journey. I really did not appreciate her telling me that. A journey to me is a happy adventure. Her journey was done. Her spouse had passed away. I don't want that journey. But a journey to learn as much as as can about memory loss, sounds worthwhile ,it is a positive . I've already learned a lot. There are different kinds of memory loss. And different reasons for memory loss. There is also a what if it isn't Old Timers ,as my Mother pronounced it, and you have another diagnosis , but memory and cognitive problems. What if. There is so much to learn. It''s never too late to take on another challenge. A challenge to learn .I'm up for it.

I still read my Nefesh B Nefesh emails and I came across a really special one. Someone is asking strangers to let her know if they want to attend a Seder at her home. They can't spend the night, but they are welcome to come to the Seder. I think this is just the nicest gesture. What an interesting dinner table she will have. The only warning she gives is that she has a dog. So consider this when you respond to her invitation.

I don't think that I will have a Seder this year, other than the one at our Congregation. In the past, having a third Seder has been special for me. I'm just not into it this year. On the other hand, just thinking about not doing one, makes me want to have one. Conflicted is a good word for how I feel right now. I remember different Seder's as I grew up. At my Grandmother's it was all about drinking her home made wine so that I could fall asleep and not help with the dishes. Also, she used the slave quarters at her house on Tchoupatoulis Street as her Passover kitchen. So everything had to be carried in and out of her house to the out building. Then there were the Seder's after she was gone, where the head of which ever house we went to, rushed so fast through the service, all in Hebrew, that we were on fast forward. Let's eat was the mantra. Then there were the ones we had with our kids. Those were special. I think I have already mentioned how  just as we got to the place where we were to open the door for Elijah, our door bell rang. The kids went crazy. It was a pizza delivery guy who came to the wrong house. Memories. Maybe I will do a Seder, but I won't advertise it. It is a special time for me. It's never too late to start making matzah balls. I hear that they freeze well.

I am looking for a new passion. It has to be something that I am good at. One skill that I seem to have is that I write really nice condolence notes. I don't think this would qualify as a passion. I have just noticed that over the years, as I have writen condolence notes,they are heartfelt and the people to whom they are addressed, are touched by my memory of their lost one. In fact, I cry myself when I write these notes. Now, I wish that I had saved the notes that I have writen over the years. I, at one time, thought about writing a self help book on condolence writing. But it was depressing. Who would buy the book? Could you see yourself buying it as a gift for a friend? It would have a limited audience.

I follow all of the rules for writing a note. Tell something about the deceased that you recall. Something nice, true, maybe even funny. I remember writing a note and telling how happy the guy used to get when he found a place to park in front of our hi-rise. This , even though we had free valet parking. It was personal. It validated the persons life and quirks. The family felt good to have this little inside joke and have him remembered this way.

It's never too late to have a niche that is your speciality. I do wish that it were for a more cheerful  passion.