New Page------New Day

Every time our Rabbi gives a lesson from the Torah, I tell myself that I will remember and that next year, when he reads it again, I will be able to answer a question about it. Well, I never seem to remember. We read the same passages ,over again, year in and year out. You would think that I would remember . I remember the more dramatic ones, but, mostly, I forget . Too bad. I wish that I spent more time studying the Torah. It seems to be full of wisdom. I could use that . When I retire, I plan to spend a lot of time reading and contemplating.I don't know if I can do that right now. Sitting and thinking require a discipline that I am not ready to participate in yet. Maybe when I grow up. Sometimes I put off thinking until I have to make a decision. Good thing I haven't had to make any big time decisions lately.
I just finished filling out a very long questionnaire for the care takers group that I attend while Bob is with his memory group. It wanted to know if I was easily distracted, if I could focus . There was no place for "sometimes". I hate those kinds of surveys where I can't be in the middle of the road. Sometimes is sometimes all I can do.
I have all kinds of books in the house about subjects that I want to study. They are on a certain shelf in our bookcase. On the bottom shelf so that I don't have to look at them just sitting there waiting for me to read them. Some day I will sit under a tree, in the shade, and start to read. Knowing me, I'll get distracted by the first butterfly I see . Focus.
It's never too late to just think about how I want to set time aside for thinking.

I made a loaf of bread in my new bread machine. it was perfect. I only wish that I could cut nice,uniform, straight slices. I can't. I have this special knife that has this guard on it that let's me adjust the thickness of the slices. Unfortunately,I still can't cut straight,even with the helpful knife.
No matter, butter on fresh bread has no equal. That's what I ate for dinner. Another taste treat for me, and I think I'll go and fix myself a glass right now, is buttermilk with a spoonful of orange marmalade in it. I never liked buttermilk until I was pregnant the first time. My father used to drink it and I always thought the film on the glass made it unappetizing. but it turns out, that I really like it. The orange marmalade makes it even better.
When I was a kid, I ate cold red beans and rice for breakfast. No one told me that was not the American breakfast diet. Cold left over spaghetti was even better. I thought everyone ate like that. in fact, I never asked anyone what they ate because I was happy with my choice.
And school lunches ! I loved it when I could stay for lunch.Mashed potatoes with tomato gravy with hot dog cut into rings in it. That was worth asking for seconds. That was my favorite lunch. And I could drink chocolate milk once a week, in a little carton. We did not drink milk with our meals at home. That old Kosher thing was a hold over.
In fact, I never knew anyone who drank milk with their meals until I met my husband. His family was more sophisticated than mine.
it's never too late to go back to your comfort foods and fresh bread with real butter is a good start.

I was reading an article in a woman's magazine as I was waiting for my hairdresser. The article said that the person who helps someone that they don't know, is happier than if they knew who they were helping. That makes sense. This reminds me of the fun I had passing it forward when I paid the toll for the car behind me when I was going to the airport. I felt like I was putting something over on the car. I wonder if they passed it forward some time later.
Another article in this same magazine, told of being a recipient of the Food Pantry and how she wanted to speak out to her fellow co worker who made an uncomplimentary remark about "those people". She ,the article writer, was recently divorced, had 4 teen age boys to feed and no support check yet. She needed help and was thankful to have the food. Her co worker in speaking of "those people" didn't know a person in need when she saw one.
I didn't realize that I would come away from the beauty salon with a lesson in giving ,in receiving and in respecting the privacy of someone when I want to be the giver.
It's never too late to want to be happy because I can give,but the reminder ,the lesson,is that privacy is a show of respect for the receiver.

Another plane load of Americans arrived in Israel today . I am waiting for the video to be put on the internet, so I can cry along with them when they stepped off of the plane. How brave of them to continue with their plans to make Aliyah. As things go, I am more concerned with antisemitism and terrorist here in the US than I am of bombings in Israel. Here I feel unprotective, there I would have a country trying to protect me. Maybe that is why the people on the plane continued with their plans to make Aliyah. They are certainly making a positive statement. "I'm here,what are you going to do about it".Brave people.
There was a picture posted of a 93 year old great Grandmother who is making the trip and that will make all 4 generations of that family being together in Israel. Cool. That has to be a challenge for Great Grandma. What did she leave here in the states,who will be her friends in Israel,where is the comfort that she had,knowing where everything was, what about her doctors. Very brave woman. I'd like to talk to her. Why did she wait so long,did her kids put pressure on her to finally make the decision. My Great Aunt , at 104 recently passed away,in Israel. Her life was extended by years by her making Aliyah.After surviving life in Russia, she was recreated in Israel.
If this great grandma who made Aliyah today can get another 10 years of living by being in Israel, good for her.
I don't want to wait until I am 93 to go. I'd like to be there now. It's never too late to make my dream a reality. I just wish it wasn't taking so long.

I am getting a little tired of hot weather. A cooler day once in a while would really be appreciated. Maybe down to 80 might be enough. The other day, the temperature in my car was 95. Once the AC clicked in it went down to 92 and stayed there. I was happy for that.
I am remembering all of the trips with the family that had all of the car windows open and this hot,humid weather just over coming us. How did we do it. We complained, that is a given. It's a wonder we continued to take those trips.
Back in the old days, when the kids were young ( they are old now ,too) Dad drove and Mom did the peace keeping, the threats, passed the cookies and deviled eggs and kept every one reasonably happy. How did I do that? Now, everyone has either a car seat that they are strapped into , or if larger, a seat belt, and ear phones. We didn't have a car seat until our fourth kid was here. Then it was a flimsy piece of canvas with a metal frame. I still remember it. Getting both of his legs into the opening was a challenge.
When our first grandchild was born, I bought a car seat ,took it to the fire station and had the firemen install it. They were just as confused as I was, but we managed to get it in correctly. I have another question .. why are firemen such hunks. Better then policemen. Must be all of the driving around that cops do.
Back to hot weather. I like hot weather, I just would like a few cooler days thrown into the mix. It's never too late to think ahead to beautiful, crisp fall days when the leaves are turning and you can smell burning... wait that was another life. I am in paradise now and I am not complaining, just talking out loud to myself.

Another thing that I miss about big city, high rise living is the health club I use to belong to. The fees were a gift from Bob and it was the best gift I ever had. I loved that Club so much that I put my membership on hold when we moved to Venice. I've been here probably too long for them to think that I am coming back. The health club was so high end, so luxurious, so fantastic ,that I always said that I would try to live there if I ever became a homeless, bag lady. I went every day. We often had dinner there. I took classes there. I had a personal trainer there. I won't even be a name dropper and say that Opra worked out there, and the woman who had the locker next to me was a Pritzker.(You have to know Chicago, to know that name. You spell it MONEY) When you are running around in your underwear, we were all equal.
Did I lose a part of me that I loved. No. Did I make the wrong decision to move to Venice. Nope. Here I found wonderful friends, a nice, comfortable place to live, beautiful sunsets and a real sense of community. It's never too late to just keep the memory, so good bye East Bank Club, I'm canceling the hold on my membership.

Why would any one say"it's a dogs world". Or talk about the "Dog days of August". I'm going to look this one up. Cricket knows that it is a dogs world, it is also pampered pet world. How about " I work like a dog". Talk to Cricket about this one. She has learned how to survive without lifting a paw.She has figured this out all by herself. And she survives quite well. First class , in fact.She couldn't survive in the wild, though. She won't even chase a gecko, even when I point it out to her. But, she knows the sound of the refrigerator door opening. I can hear it close, but who can hear it open? Cricket can. She has also trained us to give her a dog biscuit after every walk, if she did anything or not. And she has a voice. If you can call what she does , having a voice. When she wants to go out, she doesn't whine or paw us, she stares at us. She sits and stares. Who would't get her point. And she know when we are not taking her with us, This is really smart. I don't know how she knows that she isn't coming. We don't say anything, either way. She just knows. I've tried to teach her to play hide and seek. I've tried to teach her to fetch the ball. We've had her about 6 years and I'm still working on the play thing. I'm good at hiding,but it's getting boring waiting for her to catch on. The ball thing hasn't worked either. She does have a stuffed animal that she likes. It's a start. I was wondering if I would have to take it on board with us when she travels under the seat, when we go to Israel. Kids take their stuffed animals, and I have traveled with people who take their pillows.
It's never too late to just forget all the dog stuff. Cricket has and she is doing just fine as our four legged child.

I feel good .I feel good. I knew that I could. Or something like that. Isn't there a song like that. I can hear it in my head. Another Shabbat to prepare for, another reason to slow down for the week end ,another week lived .All good..I just figured out that I have spent almost 29000 days alive.What did I do with all of them. Some I spent productively, but I bet I wasted a lot of them. Never mind, even the wasted days must have had meaning at the time. Maybe as I get older, days have more meaning. By this time , I should have figured out how to best spend my days.
I'd like to spend more time reading books that make me ponder intellectual ideas and ideals. That's what I would like. However , I don't think that will ever be me. I gravitate to the cook books and fiction. Maybe when I retire , I will go further into the library shelves. It's something to look forward to.It can be my goal , when I retire.
It used to be when I grow up I will.... Then it was , when the kids finish school..... Then, when I retire, I will.....Been there, did that and I am still saying. when I retire I will..... because you really don't retire here. You get busier. You open up to new family, new experiences,new you. No wonder I feel good. ! It's never too late to sing out"I feel good, I knew that I could". Welcome the day. It's new and it belongs to me.

I hear a clinking sound in my car and the icon that indicates that the tires are low ,keeps coming on and off. This is when I wish that I didn't have to be the one to fix things. I use to, but not anymore, know how to change a tire. But these cars with electronic guts,leave me frustrated. Does the icon really mean something, or is it just getting even with me. And when I do get around to getting it serviced, will the mechanic talk to me, or look and talk to Bob. My doctor, when she isn't looking at the computer screen, looks at me. My dentist looks at me and my mouth. But the mechanic looks at the male figure standing next to me. Even though I drove the car in, did the talking, and am right in his space. Maybe my car feels the same way. It wants to be acknowledged. Maybe I need to take a class in what the car is trying to tell me. Is there a library book for this ?
The trouble with my car is that it is bigger than I am. And more secretive. Where does it keep the spare tire. Do I even have one. We always had a tire crank in the trunk of our car. Do they still make those. Thank goodness I have AAA and I have such confidence in them.They haven't let me down yet. And they make house calls.
This rattle sound that the car has has me concerned. If Bob had a cough . I'd know what to do. When Cricket doesn't feel good, I know what to do. But I don't know what to do for this rattle. I hit the dash and that didn't stop it. I looked at the tires and I didn't see anything . I will probably ignore it until it turns really serious and then call AAA or bring it to the dealer. Maybe because this is a used car(lightly used), I don't have the same report with this car as I did with cars that we had since birth. It's like when you rescue a dog, you don't know what baggage they come with. The car looks happy , but who knows how it was treated before we got it.
It's never too late to learn more about my car. I will start by listening to her complaints. She has a voice too.

I was thinking about what is on my mind . I was thinking about the expressions , "on my mind". I can say that "I am losing my mind." Then "My mind is just empty." Also, " I can't get that out of my mind, " followed by "it's stuck in my mind." Then what about, "do you mind," or "I don't mind". "My mind is playing tricks with me". Can my mind do all of these things.? Actually, it isn't that hard for my mind to do these things. It has a mind of it's own.My mind is sometimes independent of the rest of me and won't stop. Sometimes it gets in the way of sleep. It will even trail off in thought when it is asked to concentrate on a project.
The worse thing is to lose bits of it. You function but not wholly. My mind is a beautiful thing and I want to keep exercising it. Is it a muscle that will respond to movement and exercise ? I think so. That's why I exercise it. I take it for walks to see the sky and the landscaping. I take it to the library for books to stimulate it. I let it play Solitaire for fun and it relaxes it. I let it sleep at the appropriate times, hoping to let it get ready for the next onslaught of activity. I have to treat my mind with respect, it's the only one I get. Some body parts come in two's, and although I don't want to reduce their numbers, I get a second chance if there is a problem with just one of them. Not so quickly done with a mindset . It's never too late to show love and appreciation for my mind. Use or lose it could apply here. And this is what I had on my mind this morning when I went to write my Blog.

I feel as if I experience weather as a visual phenomenon . I can see it, I can feel it and I admit, I can smell weather.I don't know what you call it when you feel and smell weather. But I definitely see it.
I look out of our sliders, we have no windows as we knew them in the midwest, and see grayness. We have the AC going, since April to be exact. It looks like a snow day. I see this a lot here in Paradise. We are in our air conditioned comfort and looking out, we see palm trees with their boughs swaying and it looks like a gray ,cold day that could produce snow, under the right temperature drop. It's always a surprise when I see weather this way, and then I step out side and get a face full of humidity and heat.
If I had the kind of hair that frizzes, I would never go outdoors. On the plus side, I have a perm for my hair, so that won't happen.Not naturally, that is.
I have always been sensitive to the smell of weather. It is probably ozone or something like that, but I can smell weather . Often I smell New Orleans, or Colorado. With N.O. it is the smell of blossoms early in the morning. Colorado pops up only occasionally. Usually it comes with the early morning when I can smell wood burning.That can come from either a home fire place or a brush fire. But the temperature has to be on the cooler side. Then I feel like I am back in the mountains.
It's nice to be standing in home base , in a tropical setting and still get these bursts of weather related visual and tactile feelings.
It's never too late to be happy to be here. I wouldn't mind a few degree drop in outside temperature and Cricket would really appreciate it.

Here is what I am thinking of writing in my essay when I come to the section on my NBN application that asks why I want to make Aliyah.

Why would I want to move to Israel ? To make Aliyah ?
I want to complete the journey that my family took when they left Russia and Romania to come to the US. They left to avoid conscription ,pograms and further persecution by virtue of their Jewishness. I want to continue that journey by going to , living in and supporting Israel. I want to be surrounded by Jews. I want not to have to explain what my holidays are, because everyone around me, knows and may be having the same celebration in their home.
I want to live where it is common to see kids with Kepahs and tzeet tzeet showing under their superman t shirt.
I want to be counted in the Law of Return. I am Jewish, I am happy being Jewish, I want to be Jewish in a Jewish State. This is what being in Israel will do for me. What I will do for Israel is to show that I am not afraid to start a new life in a country always under threat. I will be there to tell the UN, and the world that Israel is strong and will survive because I will make that happen . it is my home and I have returned to what I was promised , A jewish Homeland. I am strong and so is Israel.

I am doing observations today. One thing that I have observed is that you never hear the words"I am on a diet". Instead, I hear,"tomorrow I am starting my diet".
I've known people to swear that they don't watch TV. But they slip up and say,"I was watching dancing with the Stars..Ops" I do watch TV. I have seen every rerun and almost every program of NCIS. I especially liked Zeva. She would make a good Sabra. I feel like family with that program.Gibbs is the Uncle, Tony is the crazy cousin, Tim is the smart one in the family. It fits well. And I watch FoodNetwork while I eat lunch.
I have a theory that all kids just naturally know about electronics. It was proven to me yet again,today. I had some glitch on my iPad, that I probably did myself. I went to Best Buy with my iPad, and this kid fixed it in 2 seconds. And showed me something that he was sure I didn't know about the iPad. He was right. I didn't know. He showed me and I have completely proven my observations. Kids rock, especially when they can fix computers.
Another observation that I can make is that if it is going to rain, it will rain just as you are leaving the house or just as you get to your destination. Then, too, it will rain when you are 2 blocks from home, walking a very slow dog, who will not hurry . No matter what. Cricket has been known to be picked up at that stage. Smart dog.
It's never too late to continue looking for reasons to make observations. It makes me more accepting of people and dogs.

I am at a place in my Violin lessons that has me out of my learning curve. I am learning to use my hand and fingers on my left hand to play notes in positions that are new to me. Sounds confusing and it is for me. My fingers don't always go where they are supposed to. Or move swiftly enough. I am at a place that I numbered the notes on the music sheet and number my fingers. 1,2,3,4,1,etc. I seem to occasionally miss count and run out of fingers. Some times, when I have to use my little finger, which is numbered , number 4, and then play my first finger, the little finger gets weak and doesn't want to play. I feel like a stiff zombie. I air play my fingers to try to teach them this new movement. I am working on the same assignment for the third week. I don't really mind. Eventually I will get it and it will be easier. I just hope that my teacher doesn't get discouraged by me. I know that I am her oldest student and she likes having bragging rights to that. Any one can have kids as students. It's a different teaching method with an adult. I'm old enough to be her Mother. She can't talk to my Mother about how much or little I practice. She doesn't want to talk to me as if I were a kid. I'm a learning curve for her too.
It's never too late to be a student. I think of it as feeding my brain, which I need to keep in good shape. I expect a lot from it.

I got a book from the library the other day and the whole cook book is devoted to recipes for fried chicken. I knew that someone, sooner or later, would do this. I wish that I had thought of it first. That's how important fried chicken is . Fried chicken is as close as chicken soup and noodles on my favorite foods list. The list isn't long. Chicken soup and boiled chicken with the skin still on is the first. Some day , a great doctor is going to publish an article that says that skin on chicken has medicinal properties and I will say ,"I knew this all along."
The rest of my list would include fried chicken and the fat that you get on the edges of a steak. When other people cut this off and push it to the side of their plate, I salivate. When I was growing up and we had steak for dinner, it was not complete without a big pat of butter, followed my chopped garlic over that. The butter with the meat came after Grandma died. I don't remember which came first, the ham or the butter with the meat. Both were a revelation. And appreciated.
But fried chicken is an art. If there is one dish that will impress a young man enough to propose, I think it is fried chicken. Although, in my case, it was matzoh brau that did it ,back in 1952. But that's another story. It's never too late for anything that tastes good. Life would be too short without good food and a good spouse. I am so lucky.