NEW PAGE-------NEW DAY

This morning I am going to my second orchastra rehearsal. I have diligently practiced the second violin part. Second violins don't get a lot of melody time. We do the scut work, but by putting it all together with the first violins and we really sounds better than we are. At my practice time, I cheat and play the melody part first. Then I do the second violin part. I get so excited when I hear myself playing it correctly,  that I make a mistake and I  have to start over. I can't do that at the rehearsal. I hope that I play each note clearly and I  finish at the same time as everyone else, with my bow in the right position.

It'll be an oy vey moment for me. How much easier it would be if I just don't do this. Why did I  ever agree to do this. I do know why. Because even at my age, I'm still reaching my potential. I still want challenges, some of which I will fail at, but, so what. Remember, it's never too late to try something new- hit a wrong note or make it all the way through Jingle Bell Rock.  I am a winner with this attitude.

Well,I didn't win the Power ball lottery. That is a little disappointing. I called it the dream ticket. Like when our kids would mark up the Sears Toy catalogue. They knew they wouldn't get the toys, but what fun. I am still a winner,though. I am healthy, not so wealthy and a litttle bit wise. The wise comes from just being alive so many years.  I used to consider 50 as the half way point in old. Now, the odds are more in favor of challenging that position. That is why I think of my life as at a 3/4 place. With an aunt who is alive at 104, it is possible for me to live another 26 years. Does that equal 104 ? 104 - 78=26. Yes the arithmetic is correct. That seems doable, in light of medical advances and in door plumbing. (My father in law said that is the reason we are living longer.)

Yesterday, someone asked to what do I owe our long marriage . I said that we didn't have a lot of stress in our lives. That isn't true. The stress didn't make our marriage stronger,it just changed who we are and the roles we play. It's a "this is your life, now get on with it" kind of thing.

I find it hard to remember the person that I was. I never balanced a check book. I never paid any bills. I didn't make many decisions. I thought I was happy. Then came the boom. The heart attack and the stroke. Now I do everything and yes ,I can do it and it hasn't knocked me out of the game. In fact ,it's added so much to the game that I am realizing that it is never too late to pack up your bags, gather your loved one and get going.

I am so frustrated that I couldn't sleep peacefully last night. Paper jammed in my wireless printer and I couldn't remove it ! That made me think of all of the possibilities I have for malfunctioning appliances and further frustration. I own: a desk computer,a lap top pc, a jammed printer,a Kindle Fire, a small TV in the bedroom, a radio thingy that plays tapes and CD's (except we don't know how to use all of the features). Then there is the video player that is stored in the closet. We never plugged it back in when we moved it to paint the bedroom. Then in the kitchen, I have a rice cooker, a Ninja, a deep fat fryer(Beignets,anyone) an immerser thing, food processor, toaster oven, micro wave, an electric knife and a juicer.Don't let me forget the very smart sewing machine that I need the play book to use. Also two crock pots and two digital cameras and a stupid phone (it only has two functions-calls come in and calls go out). It's a wonder I can sleep at all with the possibility that at any moment , something that I don't understand anyway, is going to malfunction.

I understand that Israel is a highly functioning and sophisticated in the ways of high technology. I hope that I can fit in. My method of fixing problems with these technical products is to hit them, bang on them and then call on a young man that I pay to fix the problem.

It is never too late (literally) for me to take a deep breathe, put my priorities in prospective, step away from the jammed printer and call my young man to make a service call.

My daughter and her husband are coming for a short visit. We are all excited.We usually go to their home for a visit. It's easier. They are Religious. What that means is that they ascribe to all of the laws of Kashruth. When we visit them, everything is labeled. Dairy,meat, dairy pot drawers, meat silverware drawers, milk dishes ,meat dishes-all labeled. It's easier to visit them. Today, I bought new pots and pans, eating utensils , a plastic tub to wash them in and new dish towels. We'll eat parve, no meat. It's not such a bad thing, because I will have my start of a Kosher kitchen for my move to Israel. That was something that I have given some thought to. I may keep Kosher in Israel, because I want to be able to entertain.That is something I won't know until I get there. I know that many people are secular. Does that include not keeping Kosher. It's exciting to rethink my cooking style,the discipline of keeping Kosher will be a challenge. But that is what life is all about. I like the challenge because it is never too late to learn not to mix the meat and the dairy dishes.

I have a confession to make. I like Museum gift shops, sometimes better than the museum. I realize that in my telling this, I may alter how some people think of me, but there it is. I do have some favorite museums, where I do appreciate the collections. The Chicago Art Museum is one. The Diaspora Museum in Tel Aviv is another. Gift shops at botanical gardens are very special. You can buy all kinds of things from sweat shirts to living plants , even beautiful dishes and jewelry . And the profits go back to the museums. And remember, if you give what you buy at the museum gift shop as a gift ,in the original shopping bag, the recipient gets the gift and the shopping bag !

In my quest to get rid of "stuff" ,I was cleaning out a cabinet. I found another shopping bag that I was saving as a reminder of a trip to a museum store and then I found an envelope that had a small pin in it . I had bought the pin at the Yad Vashem gift shop in Jerusalem.The cabinet was no place for this pin ,which symbolizes barbed wire. I don't know how I over looked this pin or how it got into this hidden space, but now I will wear it regularly,as reminder to me and everyone who sees it , that Never Again will Jews be denied their birthright.

I'm going to buy a PowerBall lottery ticket today. I think they sell them in Florida. I don't think I will win, which is a very unpositive statement, but really, what are my chances of my winning. Never the less, I do have a wish list, just in case. I strongly believe in tithing, so that will be first thing that I do after taxes.Then our congregation needs a new roof. They can put a placque on the new roof and it can read, "The USHOULDTELL ROOF". And how about offering free membership , because we can.

Then ,of course, the family should each get some token of our riches. I'll clean the interior of one daughters car. This is an old joke with us.Her car ,which  is now 15 years old, was always so full of old coffee cups, even empty bowls that had had cereal in them. smelly sweat shirts from the boys,that I said once "When I win the lottery, I'm going to clean your car". Now . it won't be the family joke. My spouse says that he would like to go to Israel. That is good news and a surprise. I will have Stacey and Clinton of "What Not to Wear"empty my closet and dress me for the life I lead here. What's the notch above casual resale store buys ?

This is a fun dream.It's never too late to do a little selfish dreaming as long as I understand that it's probably not going to happen.(Wouldn't it be a hoot if it did ??)